GET OFF YOUR ASS ALREADY: BEATING THE WORKOUT BLAHS
Susan Lacke
You know how it is: On New Year’s Eve, tipsy with optimism and champagne, you gaze wide-eyed at the world, declaring this will be your year. You’ll finally join the gym, lose those 10 pounds, run a marathon and make Orlando Bloom fall in love with you.
These goals always get off to a great start, but by the end of January, you’re on the couch with a dusty gym pass, a dozen cupcakes and a restraining order from Orlando’s people. (P.S. – Not cool, Orlando. I really thought we had something special, baby.)
Where did it all go wrong? You started out so motivated, and now you’re feeling uninspired. Don’t be discouraged. Get your fitness goals back on track, STAT! Here’s how:
Get Some New Threads
Just because you’re sweating doesn’t mean you have to look dumpy. If you look like crap, then you’re going to feel like crap, and feeling like crap usually ends on the couch, not the elliptical machine. Purchase new athletic clothing that you feel good in and (this is key, people) actually wear it to work out.
My pick-me-up is buying new tights. Not only do they keep my legs warm during winter runs, they make me feel like a superhero! I sometimes wear them to the grocery store post-run to lift cars off the elderly and nurse baby birds back to health.
Change it Up
People underestimate the power of a new sport, workout class or running trail. Do something different – even a new spin instructor keeps things fresh (especially if said spin instructor is hot).
Feeling really desperate for a change? Have a friend drive to the worst neighborhood in town and push you out of the car. Then try telling me you don’t feel like running today.
Grab a Partner
I’m a big fan of working out with friends. After all, misery loves company. Besides, you may cuss a lot while training; If a curse word is uttered in a swimming pool and no one’s around to hear it, did it really make a sound?
Read Inspiring Stories
The Internet is full of tear-jerker tales of cancer survivors who escaped the jungle after eight years of living in captivity while also raising sixteen children and creating a successful knitted-goods store on Etsy.com. Oh, yeah, and ran a marathon last weekend. With a glass eye and prosthetic leg.
Read these stories and remind yourself there are others out there who overcome worse challenges than yours every day. Or something like that. I don’t know, I’m not Oprah Winfrey. Just get off your butt and work out already.
Pin it
If you have a Pinterest account, you can spend hours sucked into the vortex of inspiration. See what others have “pinned” for inspiration, and know that you’re not alone in your struggle.
There’s a multitude of pin-worthy stuff on Pinterest, from photos of rock-hard abs (not me) to links to credible fitness experts (also not me). Whatever you do, stay away from any pins involving food. If you’re like me, one thing will lead to another, and the next thing you know, the Domino’s guy is thanking you for your order.
Stop Making Excuses
Yes, it’s cold outside. No one said you had to do your workout outdoors. Do a pilates video at home or go to the gym, and you can complain about other things, like being too warm and that weird smell on the yoga mats.
And don’t even try “I don’t have time” – you just wasted a bunch of time reading this post, Pinterest-ing, and shopping for superhero tights. Trust me…you have time.
Tell me – what do you do to get excited about working out when your motivation starts to dip?
10 REASONS RUNNING DOESN’T SUCK AS MUCH AS YOU THINK
The word “running” used to conjure up painful and awkward memories of gym class. My middle-school gym teacher, Mrs. Morey, would stand her roly-poly body at the top of the hill behind our school, barking through a megaphone between bites of beef jerky at us red-faced kids as we ran circles around the track. According to her, running was supposed to build character, or whatever it is they teach gym teachers to say in gym teacher school.
Needless to say, most of the gasping kids on the track were thinking the same thing: Character? <bleep> you. Choke on your jerky, fatty.
Your first experience with running was probably in gym class. And it’s quite possible it left the same rancid taste in your mouth, with little desire to ever run again. But no more! I hit the reset button on my attitude towards running, and for the last two years, have gone from hating running to loving it (most of the time). Running really doesn’t suck as much as you think. Here’s why:
- Most races and fun runs are full of hot bodies in very little clothing. Let me repeat that: HOT PEOPLE. WEARING PRACTICALLY NOTHING. Wear sunglasses, and ogle with reckless abandon.
- You can lose weight by drinking nothing but hot water with lemon. Or you can run for an hour, treat yourself to a cookie and still fit into your skinny jeans. One of these options makes you bitchy; the other makes you rad.
- Take your iPod with you, and your runs suddenly become a safe place to indulge your love of boy-band music. With enough practice, you can even blend in a couple dance moves from ‘Bye Bye Bye’. Don’t lie: You’ve still got that routine memorized.
- When your boss, your melodramatic friend and your nagging to-do list won’t leave you alone, calmly put on your running shoes and head out the door. They won’t follow you. It’s a safer alternative to storming out with both middle fingers in the air (though you can -and should- still do this in your head, just for spectacular effect).
- You’ll discover lululemon pants are good for more than just buying tampons and Cheez-its at Target (I know, ladies. My world was rocked with that discovery, too.).
- Running is the last place you have to “be a lady.” Sweat, snot and sneaking behind a bush to pee is not only liberating it’s fun, in that giggly-childish-naughty kind of way.
- Getting a run in before happy hour means you get tipsy on half a glass of wine instead of your usual two. That’s not being a lush, that’s just sound economic planning.
- Studies have shown that runners have better sex. Sex counts as a cross-training workout, which in turn makes you a better runner, which – hello! – leads to even better sex. Really, the whole thing is full of win-wins.
- Girls are lucky; there’s an entire industry committed to making us look awesome while getting our sweat on. Workout clothes come in all sorts of cool colors and designs. Jockstraps, on the other hand, will always be ugly with questionable stains.
- Non-runners will sit on the couch and call you crazy. Those folks, sadly, will never learn what their bodies are capable of. You, on the other hand, will die knowing you completely, totally, unabashedly used up the body that was loaned to you. That’s not crazy. That’s freakin’ awesome.
