10 REASONS RUNNING DOESN’T SUCK AS MUCH AS YOU THINK
The word “running” used to conjure up painful and awkward memories of gym class. My middle-school gym teacher, Mrs. Morey, would stand her roly-poly body at the top of the hill behind our school, barking through a megaphone between bites of beef jerky at us red-faced kids as we ran circles around the track. According to her, running was supposed to build character, or whatever it is they teach gym teachers to say in gym teacher school.
Needless to say, most of the gasping kids on the track were thinking the same thing: Character? <bleep> you. Choke on your jerky, fatty.
Your first experience with running was probably in gym class. And it’s quite possible it left the same rancid taste in your mouth, with little desire to ever run again. But no more! I hit the reset button on my attitude towards running, and for the last two years, have gone from hating running to loving it (most of the time). Running really doesn’t suck as much as you think. Here’s why:
- Most races and fun runs are full of hot bodies in very little clothing. Let me repeat that: HOT PEOPLE. WEARING PRACTICALLY NOTHING. Wear sunglasses, and ogle with reckless abandon.
- You can lose weight by drinking nothing but hot water with lemon. Or you can run for an hour, treat yourself to a cookie and still fit into your skinny jeans. One of these options makes you bitchy; the other makes you rad.
- Take your iPod with you, and your runs suddenly become a safe place to indulge your love of boy-band music. With enough practice, you can even blend in a couple dance moves from ‘Bye Bye Bye’. Don’t lie: You’ve still got that routine memorized.
- When your boss, your melodramatic friend and your nagging to-do list won’t leave you alone, calmly put on your running shoes and head out the door. They won’t follow you. It’s a safer alternative to storming out with both middle fingers in the air (though you can -and should- still do this in your head, just for spectacular effect).
- You’ll discover lululemon pants are good for more than just buying tampons and Cheez-its at Target (I know, ladies. My world was rocked with that discovery, too.).
- Running is the last place you have to “be a lady.” Sweat, snot and sneaking behind a bush to pee is not only liberating it’s fun, in that giggly-childish-naughty kind of way.
- Getting a run in before happy hour means you get tipsy on half a glass of wine instead of your usual two. That’s not being a lush, that’s just sound economic planning.
- Studies have shown that runners have better sex. Sex counts as a cross-training workout, which in turn makes you a better runner, which – hello! – leads to even better sex. Really, the whole thing is full of win-wins.
- Girls are lucky; there’s an entire industry committed to making us look awesome while getting our sweat on. Workout clothes come in all sorts of cool colors and designs. Jockstraps, on the other hand, will always be ugly with questionable stains.
- Non-runners will sit on the couch and call you crazy. Those folks, sadly, will never learn what their bodies are capable of. You, on the other hand, will die knowing you completely, totally, unabashedly used up the body that was loaned to you. That’s not crazy. That’s freakin’ awesome.
+(1) The Academy Is … - “About a Girl”
(2) AFI - “Girl’s Not Grey”
(3) Alien Ant Farm - “Smooth Criminal”
(4) Alkaline Trio - “Private Eye”
(5) Alphabeat - “The Spell”
(6) Andrew WK - “Party Hard”
(7) Architecture in Helsinki - “Hold Music”
(8) Atmosphere - “Get Fly”
(9) Avril Lavigne - “Freak Out”
(10) Bad Religion - “Los Angeles is Burning”
(11) Basement Jaxx - “Lucky Star” (f/ Dizzee Rascal)
(12) Basement Jaxx - “Where’s Your Head At?”
(13) Black Eyed Peas - “Let’s Get Retarded”
(14) Blackalicious - “Supreme People”
(15) Bloc Party - “Flux”
(16) Blue Scholars - “North By Northwest”
(17) Blur - “Country House”
(18) Bow Wow - “Fresh Azimiz”
(19) Bowling for Soup - “Ohio (Come Back to Texas)”
(20) Boys Like Girls - “The Great Escape”
(21) The Bravery - “An Honest Mistake”
(22) Brother Ali - “Talkin’ My Shit”
(23) Busta Rhymes - “Break Ya Neck”
(24) The Caesars - “Jerk It Out”
(25) Cam’ron - “Hey Lady”
(26) CSS - “Musis Is My Hot Hot Sex”
(27) Cassie - “Is It You?”
(28) Chamillionaire - “Ridin’ Dirty”
(29) Ciara - “Oh” (f/ Ludacris)
(30) CNN - “Invincible”
(31) Cobra Starship - “Snakes On a Plane (Bring It)”
(32) Common Market - “Love One”
(33) The Coup - My Favorite Mutiny”
(34) Crystal Method - “Name of the Game”
(35) The Darkness - “I Believe In a Thing Called Love”
(36) David Banner - “Fuck ‘Em” (f/ Pastor Troy)
(37) David Banner - “9 mm”
(38) Decemberists - “July, July!”
(39) Destiny’s Child - “Soldier”
(40) Devin Davis - “Giant Spiders”
(41) Dilated Peoples - “Back Again”
(42) Dilated Peoples - “This Way”
(43) Diplomats - “Built This City”
(44) Dirt McGirt - “Pop Shit” (f/ Pharrell)
(45) DMX - “Party Up”
(46) DMX - “Where Da Hood At?”
(47) Dr. Dre - “What’s The Difference?”
(48) Dropkick Murphys - “I’m Shipping Up to Boston”
(49) Duran Duran - “Hungry Like the Wolf”
(50) E-40 - “Automatic”
(51) Electric Six - “Dance Commander”
(52) Electric Six - “Danger! High Voltage”
(53) Fabolous - “Breathe”
(54) Fall Out Boy - “Of All the Gin Joints”
(55) Fall Out Boy - “Sugar, We’re Going Down”
(56) Fannypack - “Hey Mami”
(57) Fat Joe - “What’s Luv?”
(58) Fat Joe - “Make It Rain”
(59) The Federation - “Stunna Glasses” (Remix)
(60) Fratellis - “Henrietta”
(61) Fratellis - “Flathead”
(62) G Unit - “Poppin’ Them Thangs”
(63) G Unit - “Stunt 101”
(64) Gang Starr - “Work”
(65) Gaslight Anthem - “The ‘59 Sound”
(66) Girls Aloud - “The Show”
(67) Goo Goo Dolls - “Long Way Down”
(68) Mash-Up - Grease vs. Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg
(69) Green Day - “She”
(70) Green Day - “Uptight”
(71) Hanson - “If Only”
(72) Mash-Up - Notorious BIG vs. Miley Cyrus
(73) Head Automatica - “Beating Heart Baby”
(74) Helen Love - “Debbie Loves Joey”
(75) Hood Internet - “Absorb the Lipgloss”
(76) Hood Internet - “That’s That Whirlwind”
(77) Huey Lewis - “The Power of Love”
(78) Ice Cube - “You Can Do It”
(79) Idlewild - “You Held The World In Your Arms”
(80) IMA Robot - “Alive”
(81) Incubus - “Still Not A Player” (f/ Big Pun)
(82) Ja Rule - “New York (100 Guns)”
(83) Jamiroquoi - “Love Foolosophy”
(84) Jay-Z - “Izzo (H.O.V.A.)”
(85) Jay-Z - “City Is Mine”
(86) Jay-Z - “Numb/Encore” (f/ Linkin Park)
(87) Joe Esposito - “You’re the Best Around”
(88) John Legend - “Used to Love U”
(89) Jonas Brothers - “Burnin’ Up”
(90) Juelz Santana - “Rumble Young Man Rumble”
(91) Justice - “DVNO”
(92) Justin Timberlake - “My Love”
(93) Juvenile - “Back That Azz Up”
(94) Kano - “Remember Me”
(95) Kanye West - “Through the Wire”
(96) Kanye West - “Gold Digger”
(97) Katrina and the Waves - “Walkin’ on Sunshine”
(98) Ke$ha - Your Love Is My Drug”
(99) Kelly Clarkson - “Since U Been Gone”
(100) La Roux - “Bulletproof”
(101) LCD Soundsystem - “Daft Punk Is Playing at My House”
(102) Lil Jon - “Get Low”
(103) Lil Flip - “Game Over”
(104) Mash-Up - Lovemakers vs. 50 Cent
(105) Lucky Boys Confusion - “Fred Astaire”
(106) Ludacris - “Move Bitch”
(107) Ludacris - “Get Back”
(108) Ludacris - “Put Your Money” (f/ DMX)
(109) Lyrics Born - “Callin’ Out”
(110) MOP - “Cold As Ice”
(111) MOP - “Ante Up”
(112) Mac Dre - “Feelin’ My Self”
(113) Millencolin - “No Cigar”
(114) Michael Jackson - “Beat It”
(115) Dogs Die In Hot Cars - “Godhopping”
(116) Miri Ben Ari - “Fly Away”
(117) Miri Ben Ari - “4 Flat Tires”
(119) Mistah F.A.B. - “Ghost Ride It”
(120) Morningwood - “Nth Degree”
(121) Muscles - “Chocolate, Raspberry, Lemon, and Lime”
(122) N.A.S.A. - “Strange Enough”
(123) Nadiya - “Tour Ces Mots”
(124) Nappy Roots - “Aww Naw”
(125) Nas - “Made You Look” (Remix)
(126) Nas - “Got Ur Self A …”
(127) Naughty By Nature - “Feels Good”
(128) Murphy Lee - “Shake Ya Tailfeather”
(129) New Pornographers - “Your Daddy Don’t Know”
(130) Notorious B.I.G. - “Mo Money Mo Problems”
(131) Notorious B.I.G. - “Notorious Thugs”
(132) Obie Trice - “We All Die One Day”
(133) OK Go - “Get Over It”
(134) Onyx - “Slam Harder”
(135) Outfield - “Your Love”
(136) Outkast - “Rosa Parks”
(137) Ozomatli - “1234” (f/ De La Soul)
(138) Puff Daddy - “All About the Benjamins”
(139) Papa Roach - “Last Resort”
(140) Phoenix - “Everything Is Everything”
(141) Pipettes - “Pull Shapes”
(142) Pointer Sisters - “Jump (For My Love)”
(143) Prodigy - “Breathe”
(144) Punjabi MC - “Beware of the Boys” (Remix)
(145) Rage Against the Machine - “Guerrilla Radio”
(146) Rage Against the Machine - “Killing In the Name”
(147) Rancid - “Ruby Soho”
(148) The Rasmus - “In the Shadows”
(149) Ratatat - “Glock Nines”
(150) Redman - “I’ll Be That”
(151) Reel Big Fish - “Beer”
(152) Refreshments - “Banditos”
(153) Rich Creamy Paint - “Warehouse”
(154) Risk Astley - “Never Gonna Give You Up”
(155) Rick Ross - “Hustlin’” (Remix)
(156) Rihanna - “Rude Boy”
(157) Robyn - “Who’s That Girl?”
(158) Roll Deep Crew - “The Avenue”
(159) The Roots - “Don’t Say Nothin’”
(160) The Roots - “What You Want”
(161) Run-DMC - “Rock Box”
(162) Scissor Sisters - “Paul McCartney”
(163) Shade Sheist - “Where I Wanna Be”
(164) Simple Plan - “I’d Do Anything”
(165) Sleigh Bells - “Crown On the Ground”
(166) Slimm Calhoun - “It’s Okay”
(167) Snoop Dogg - “Who Am I? (What’s My Name?)”
(168) Snoop Dogg - “Signs”
(169) Soulja Boy - “Crank That” (Remix)
(170) Spacehog - “In the Meantime”
(171) SR-71 - “Right Now”
(172) Styles P - “Good Times”
(173) Suede - “Beautiful Ones”
(174) Sugababes - “No Can Do”
(175) Swizz Beats - “Guilty”
(176) TI - “What You Know”
(177) TI - “Bankhead”
(178) Talib Kweli - “Get By”
(179) Mash-Up - Terror Squad vs. Notorious B.I.G.
(180) Thicke - “When I Get You Alone”
(181) Third Eye Blind - “Semi-Charmed Life”
(182) Tilly and the Wall - “Beat Control”
(183) Tim McGraw - “Something Like That”
(184) Ting Tings - “That’s Not My Name”
(185) Trick Daddy - “Take It To The House”
(186) Trick Daddy - “Let’s Go”
(187) Tubes - “She’s a Beauty”
(188) TWDY - “Player’s Holiday”
(189) Usher - “Yeah”
(190) VHS or Beta - “Night On Fire”
(191) Wham - “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”
(192) Xzibit - “X”
(193) Yellowcard - “Ocean Avenue”
(194) Ying Yang Twins - “Badd”
(195) Young Jeezy - “My President”
(196) Young Jeezy - “I Luv It”
(197) Zach De La Rocha - “March of Death”
(198) 2Pac - “Hit Em Up”
(199) 50 Cent - “Heat”
(200) 50 Cent - “If I Can’t”
